This message is both an homage to Homer Simpson—so often the buffoon father, but here at his sagest—as well as a stand against the latent, lingering influences of Jansenism and Manichaeism, heresies condemned long ago but still insidiously rife today.

Why do we so readily accept the malignity leveled against fat and salt? Why are we so ready to cut back on both? It is because of Jansenism and Manichaeism, which still whisper to us the lie that we do not deserve good things. That, though God lavishes, we must scruple. That these two of his greatest gifts to man, as well as many of his other gifts, are actually bad for us, or at least need to be taken one at a time.

Say no to Jansenism by buttering your bacon. Recognize the good things from God, and rather than reject or restrict them, receive them with the exuberant gratitude of a child.

This message is part of The Trad Store’s For Fun series.